Ask amy: sometimes it’s okay to play games in a relationship

Dear Amy: "Sue" & I met on a singles site shortly before the pandemic. We live sầu in different parts of the country, so between that and the travel restrictions, we have not met in person yet.

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We communicate about twice a week via videoconference and have sầu had a good time getting to know each other better. It has worked well for us.


How vày we keep things interesting so as not khổng lồ get bored until it is finally okay to make the trip to lớn see each other and spover time together.


R: It is surprisingly fun khổng lồ play games via videoconferencing. Do a little research, and depending on your areas of interest, you could play a trivia game, collaborate on a crossword, play “Words with Friends,” or “Heads Up,” a fun word association game available on the House party app.


Also — remember that there are many ways lớn communicate other than videoconferencing. If you’re the type (I am), you could phối things up by sending your new frikết thúc an old-fashioned letter. (Delayed gratification, perhaps, but so thắm thiết...!)


Dear Amy: During our marriage, my ex-husband rarely made time for us, (although he was great with the kids when he was with them).


I made the decision to lớn do this without telling my parents & siblings because I knew, even though they could see how unhappy I was, that they would not be supportive.


To this day they continue to invite hlặng to family holidays & events, but become upphối with me when I refuse khổng lồ attkết thúc.


Since leaving, I have sầu had little to lớn no contact with my immediate family. Obviously, this is very hard on me, and it is also confusing for my children.


I have attempted to talk khổng lồ them about this, và it becomes an argument every time. They have sầu told my children that I shut them out, but lớn me it feels like they shut me out.

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When I attempted lớn talk khổng lồ my mom about wedding plans, her only response to my chosen wedding date was, "That"s my weekover to lớn work."


I struggle with even inviting my immediate family to lớn the wedding for fear that drama will be started.


I want to move sầu on with my life & hope that my family will be a part of that, but at this point I am at a loss for what to do next.


At a Loss: You chose to lớn leave sầu your husb&, but never told your parents or siblings about this momentous change. You don’t celebrate holidays or special occasions with them because they invite your ex. However, your silence and absence has left a void, và now you seem to wonder why you don’t have sầu a relationship with them.


If you had chosen lớn attover family events, they might have sầu stopped inviting your ex. To have a relationship, & to lớn include them in your life, you need lớn participate in theirs.


Because you seem lớn want some liên hệ, I suggest that you risk a little “drama” lớn reenter your family system. Invite them lớn your wedding, và take this opportunity lớn try lớn turn the page. After your wedding, invite them khổng lồ your trang chủ, go to their homes when you are invited — encourage them khổng lồ get khổng lồ know your new husbvà, và see if they respond to lớn your openness by being more open, themselves.


Obviously, if this is an overall toxic experience for you, you will have sầu khổng lồ make a different choice, but — up until now you don’t seem lớn have tried very hard.


Dear Amy: "Blessed Dad" has a 20-something cousin living with them during the pandemic. He is wondering why she doesn"t say "grace" with the family. He could open a conversation by asking if it makes her uncomfortable?


Being open khổng lồ a new way of doing things might mean everyone in the family could take occasional turns at offering a blessing.


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